I'm the one who calls or emails, I'm the one who plans get-togethers and follows-up with people, and I'm the one who does the 'favors'. Not every one of my friendships (I don't want anyone calling me, outraged at the accusation that they're the 'taker' in our relationship), merely MOST of them. And this seems odd to me, given that I'm usually the more introverted, less social component in almost every friendship. Is it possible I'm subconsciously seeking more from these friendships than I currently have? Or is it more likely I'm just picking up the slack that results from the 'taker' personalities? Either way, I'm becoming rather exhausted from the whole thing. I'm at the point where I just don't see many of my friends, because I'm too burnt out to try to get them on the phone or plan a girls night out. Surely there has to be a happy medium....?Ironically, my sister is the opposite. And I don't truly think it's conscious. In my observations of her and her friends, it just seems like no one expects very much of her. I'm not sure if people expect it of me or not, but the perception I get is that if things are going to happen, I'm going to have to make them happen. And I'm currently on hiatus.
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5 comments:
It truly nice when you can find a balance between being both. I'm lucky to say I have several friends that I think fits that category.
I think there's always one person in a group of every friends whos job is to hold every thign and everyone together and it truly sucks to be that person. Also that picture makes me want to go buy an umbrella. Another thing, my word verification is wooptio that sounds like a party in itself.
I think I go through phases. Sometimes, I'm a giver. Other times, I'm decidedly a taker.
Hope you find your relationship balance.
I have consciously become a taker in a few relationships--it's very liberating! Of course, there are some in which I must remain the giver. And others where I've walked away, the entire battle not worth the struggle for me.
wow, I completley know how you feel. Many of my friendships are very similar to your situation. In fact, I only have two friends that I see and/or speak to on a regular basis because each of us makes an equal effort to connect. I have lost touch with many of my friends do to this one sided feeling. Good luck!
Those who love and respect you will certainly make an honest effort to get together.
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