Pessimism or Realism?

Ahhh…I feel at least a measure of relief. This morning—before eleven o’clock—I managed to bake gingerbread boys and sugar cookies, mix up and bake sausage balls, and add the chocolate and nut layers to the “gourmet apples” that are this year’s teacher’s gifts. Plus, I did almost all the dishes that were involved with these culinary projects (not to mention the caramel-coated crock pot left over from last night).

I feel I can breathe a little bit easier—at least for a couple of days. Christmas is at my house this year—Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas morning with my husband’s, Christmas dinner with both sets! I want to be prepared—I don’t want to be fixing things last minute while everyone else is enjoying their gifts and the lazy blanket of Christmas spirit. I’m gonna do my darnedest, but I’m guessing that something unforeseen will happen…a missing ingredient, a forgotten dish, or a shortage of orange juice. Last year I forgot to set the tables until we were literally ready to eat! (I’m not a table-setter. My husband and I serve ourselves right off the stove).

Personally I think Martha Stewart is sort of old-school. I don’t know anyone who relates to her little brand of perfection. Sure, it would be great if we all had time to decorate with marzipan, but who can’t find something better to do? No one seems to care about garnishing anymore or much about presentation—they have better things to do with their time. And I side with them. Sure a twist of lemon is attractive, but someone has to buy the lemon, someone has to cut it, and that one fleeting moment before it’s moved dismissively to the side just isn’t worth it.

And whatever happened to lingering over dinner? I’m usually the last one to sit down because I’m getting one last thing for one last person. And by the time I do finally get to relax into a chair, family members are actually finished and getting up! They see no problem leaving me in the dining room to eat all by myself!! Sure, they’re doing me the favor of cleaning up, but can’t that wait even a few minutes? It's Christmas, for heaven's sake!

I will never be the hostess of large dinner parties—preparing food for a large number of people and orchestrating everything such that it’s all warm at the same time is much too stressful for me. My husband doesn’t understand it at all. When he inquires over my worries, I give him a run-down of all the what-ifs. He thinks I’m pessimistic. I say I’m realistic. We’ll see what happens this year.

Christmas Wish Lists...Out of Control

Does it say something about me that in this season of giving and selflessness, I can’t help but find things I want in every store? This isn’t normal for me. Usually I have good spells where I see a couple of things I really like and bad spells where I can’t even throw money and hit anything good. But in the last month or so, my own personal Christmas Wish List is growing by leaps and bounds. Each time I step into a store I have to make a mental note—even the grocery store has things I want to try but don’t really need (mostly chocolates)!

I find myself obsessed, going back to check the stores week after week, willing a few specially selected items to be on sale. Then if I’m lucky and one of them is on sale, I have to ask myself, is it discounted enough? Will it go further on sale so that I’ll regret purchasing it too soon, or will they sell out of my size, and I’ll regret my thrifty decisions? Worse still is when I decide to buy, walk out of the store and into another, and begin wondering if perhaps I should return my purchase and buy the “item of the moment” instead. Arrrrgggh!

I’m happy (ecstatic really) to say that I’m mostly done with my Christmas shopping. Now I can afford to browse for myself—not that I wasn’t doing it before, but now I don’t have to feel quite so guilty.

Right now my Christmas wishes are for really, exceptionally generous gift-giving friends and family members who know my size and think I’m worth it….OR…truly wonderful sales so that I can get myself what I want.

And of course world peace.